Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Going to end this relationship after 26 yrs but trying to do it without hurting the person is the hard part. I don't want to live with another person that just there. We dont sleep together eat together or even really talk together. I stay in 2 rooms and he stays in the other two rooms. I don't even consider him a roommate cos they pay half the bills. I am now avoiding coming back there. I don't even consider it home anymore. Now the big question is how do i do it.
Thursday, January 05, 2012
I look at her pictures and I want to cry . I realize what I missed out and how desperately I hadn't wanted to. I can't turn the clock back and take a major decision back. In my head I know it was the right decision but in my heart I will never ever forgive myself for it. I remember the moment I signed those papers and how I didn't want to that is etched into my brain forever. I thought of her everyday wondering how she was, was she happy had I made the right decision . I did make the right one for her but for me it will always be the wrong one.
Monday, January 02, 2012
I have my day made when I talk to the man I love. I smile, feel love and have an abundance of laughter in my world. I don't see him much but he can still cast his magic spell all over me even after 37 years. We have had our worlds over the years turned upside down and inside out and yet we still manage to find our way back to each other. Still understand each other know our strengths and weaknesses but still embrace what and who we are. Rather have that than all the riches in the world . That kind of bond is priceless and know one even the two us how we reached this point in our lives. So I will cherish and protect what I have with him .Let no man put a sunder to it.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
All I want to be is positive for 2012. Move forward in my life. To survive another rough year that I know will be ahead of me. My most positive thing in my life are my friends . They keep my going they give me support and love. What more could a girl ask for? My children who still can give their mother grey hair, but they also give me love and support and they make me so proud of them. They aren't children any more but they will always be to me.